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WOW i was the mail Queen today. Somebody got on the wagon and motivate the hotties and mollies to write me. I got like 7 letters today. Cards, drawings, clip art. WHOHOOOOO. It's about 10:30pm, i came to my bunk after getting the mail, making my final pot of coffee for the evening and settling in with a package of crackers from my canteen this week. |
After yesterday I'm not sure how much of this i'll be able to keep. We can buy big brown envelopes and have postage taken off our books. I think i'm going to put the 25 or so pages i've written and mail them to myself at Miss Lees. I wrote Spuddy today and sent him an orange butterfly I made in craft class. Kat got sentenced today, 18-24 months for possession and sale. Now she has to wait for the bus to take her away. There are all kinds of rumors going on about how prison is. Hopefully I'll never find out.
Asia's grandmother wired money from Hawaii so she could get bail. Her boyfriend went to the bailbonds man she picked out and guess what? Seems she had jumped bail on him a few years before so he just kept the 400 and her ass is still in here. She's due out June 12th anyway and that's about 3 weeks away so maybe now she'll buckle down and study. She has great potential for a bbw cam girl as well but I'm not sure she has the stick-2-it to be able to stay in front of the cam. There aren't very many fat asian girls and she could be a real niche.
Today we played spades and kat made us a nice tamale. Ok this is a jail house tamale: bag of ramen, doritos crushed up finely. She also made us a lemon cake.. which was a bag of dried oatmeal, 3 packs of cream cookies, package of lemonade all mixed up. These are a welcome change trust me.
With my commisary yesterday, I got 2 bags of coffee because next week we dont' have it on monday due to the holiday. Well i donated some for coffee balls.. it's funny to see these girls "tweaking' after they eat the coffee balls. I don't mind really because now i only drink a "pot" in the evening.
I just finished book number 56, some no name romance that i could just get lost in. I've kited for Clavell and Saunders but nothing yet. Guess that's the same place my pagan stuff is. I should really write erotic stories here and send them to tart to post on my blogs so they'll be up to date. Hopefully Houssie sent some money to Tart to renew everything. Hell i may get out of here and have zip zero. but i've been down before and started over again.
Officer P should be coming soon with mail so i need to pretend to be sleeping. |
So after 3 days of lockdown, most everyone was pretty chatty. The 'sistahs' were back to 'doing hair" the white chicks love to wear braids and it passes the time and most of them get a least a bag of ramen out of it. Of course I don't want my hair braided but i do give this one chick, a nice older lady, 2 bags of ramen and a bag of chips weekly to mop out my condo daily. she's happy and i'm happy. what i'm NOT happy about is that they can all see up in my shit. so they know what i have and what i don't. Anyway, it's like 1030pm now and i'm hiding on my bed. We had an inicident and i'm so freaked out by it that I might never come out of my condo again.
We have 2 TV's. Unofficially they are designated the "movie" TV which is by where the hair gets braided and the TV-TV which there has to be a consensus of shows. I've found that it is easier for me to shower in the early morning. We have free time from 7am-1030ish and if i get the shower between 730am-830am..i'm assured of semi privacy and HOT WATER. YEAH for HOT water. BC left me 20 on my books so i got body shampoo and some lotion so i'm not so ashy. Anyway my new routine is this:
Breakfast 4am-ish. Back to bed to read for a couple of hours. Hate when i finish a book the night before and have nothing to read during this time. Sometimes i masturbate just to get back to sleep. Good thing i'm the silent type.
700am-freetime.. i make a "pot" of coffee and go sit at the front table and read the paper. this is until about oh 730-745am. Marie sometimes joins me and if KAT isn't locked down she comes to but she usually doesn't rise until pill time at like 10.
8:00-830am-shower. I have to see who is lined up. Most always i get the shower alone.. we have 4 stalls.
830am-900am-news on tv.. and chat with the CO of the day. I also use this time to prepare the GED lessons for Asia..who is rapidly hanging with the sistahs.. not that its a problem.. but just kind of odd.
9:00-1100 i usually go to my bunk and read.. or write letters etc so they can go out in the noon mail.
11-1230 is lunch and lockdown clean up.
1pm-230pm-GED classes for Asia and whoever else wants to sit in.
230pm-3pm-i walk usually and then go back to my condo to wait for dinner..
4-7pm we have dinner after dinner is lockdown but we can go 2 per row at a time to the potty.. this is when i get my hot water for my "pot" of evening brew. This is also share time and there is lots of singing and prison poetry and 'sharing' of lives. Officer Nicholas asked if i'd share something on the value of education next week. Well i'm not such a good role model, eh? but i will and i told her i could do mock interviews for those seeking employement etc. I mean why diminish my skills?
7p-930pm-10pm: cards with Khat & Kat & Marie. etc.. or dominos or something to amuse myself. oh and they do jail crafts.. kat makes pencil boxes.
So during this 4-7pm after dinner before evening hanging out time period there was an "inicident' tonight. NOW I'm not really sure what started this as i usually keep my HEAD all the way down. But like a gopher i heard a noise close to me and popped my head up to see.. Some newbie on aisle 3 was having withdrawal i guess. *thanking the goddess once again that i escaped heavy drugs tho i'd kill for a vikoden right now*.. One of other chicks called the CO who happened to be Office P. She is prone to the word "24-hour lockdown" more than anyone i've seen so far in my 2.5 weeks here. So Officer P comes over to investigate and her form of investigation is to kick the bed. Now this is a drug chick. I found out why we are left in holding for like 10-48 hours. If we are high, it wears off. anyway.. this chick had just arrived a few hours before and was still in that sleep it off zone. OYE. no response. Officer P kicks the bed agian and calls the girls name. No reponse.. so what does she do? gets out her taser and tasers her. then throws back her head and laughs and says..i guess she's alive. meanwhile this chick is writhing around now on the bed. then she turns around to all of us near and says.. flat on your bunks now. which means we all have to lay down. well her back is to me.. and khat so we can see it's directly in front of khat.. Officer P, pulls the girl out of the bed by her arm, and bodily drags her down the aisle to the front ..yes across the floor until she drops her on the carpet. she has called for back up.. the girl is screaming cuz her arm is twisted and dangling.. probably broken. i'm ducking with my head in a book.. i think they left with her in handcuffs and taken to medical i guess. then officer P says.. in a very loud voice.. that's what happens when you are on drugs.. you fall out of your bed and break your bones.
NEVER in my lifetime would i have thought in my little republican heart that we as a nation could be so cruel. I mean POW's get treated better than this. (side note: abu grave had not happened yet i dont' think*) this chick was just sleeping off a high. Not that that excuses her. just it wasn't necessary for the CO to mishandle her.
As i stated earilier i may never leave my bunk again. |
OMG this was the worst. We've been locked down since Saturday Morning at 7am. We did our "ling ling" exchange while on lockdown. Oh did i talk about "ling ling" exchange? Our reg night watchdog is a very nice lady from Korea but she can't say linen. She calls it "ling ling". One time a week we get to exchange our uniforms and sheets for new. we get issued 2 sets of uniforms. they are really these baggy blue pants and shirts. 2 bras, 7 panties, 4 sox, 2 towels, 2 sheets. We keep our blankets. not that the blankets are decent. they are open weave blankets. So this takes place every Saturday. In the 2 weeks i've been here I found out a few things. #2 is make friends with the girls who work linen exchange otherwise i'll ge dirty towels and holey sheets. BLAH. but since i'm an old Ho, they all have some respect for me. Kind of odd.
So on Saturday they brought in the "new" chicks. We have one newbie on our row who looks like she's been through hell and back. Kat says that she knows her from Salvation Army rehab but doesn't know why she looks so beaten up or why she is here. I think tonight we are all playing spades and can find out.
The only other "odd" occurance that happened was one of the "regs" this cuban chick, who does the translating for most of spanish girls that are here was taken to the hole. 3 days before her release date. I'm thinking she didn't want to be released because she'll have new charges now. While we were in lockdown we got hourly potty breaks by row. Not, let me got hot water and make coffee, but *yelling*. you have 5 minutes to pee & shit. Make it happen. And by goddess they stuck with that 5 minutes. Anyway yesterday (Sunday) afternoon, Cecelia got up without permission, and went to the bathroom. now we are all in rows and then there is this long common area that is about 10ft wide that she had to cross to get to the bathroom. I guess she thought she was invisible. She gets 1/2 way across and Office Nicholas says: Where do you think you are going? Cecila replies, to the bathroom, No you aren't .yes i am.
it became a battle of wills that ended with cecilia on her knees taken down by a night stick and taser, 6 guards running in here, now she must weigh all of oh 140lbs. but it took 6 huge MALE officers to get her to her knees. She had really super human strenght.
I found out later from Kat that someone had received a letter and on this letter was coated with Meth. so when they licked the page, they got high. Cecila ate the letter. so i guess that was an effect of the Meth.
again i say..thank goddess i never got caught up in the drug scene despite the easy availability of the ganja and coke.
Oh the other odd occurance was that some chick who refused to get up for lunch was removed in handcuffs, it was an extremely "violent" weekend here.
I'm off to do my 22 laps=1 mile. if nothing else i'll be fat & healthy. |
Tiffany turned 35 in prison on Friday. She called me having no one else to phone and was a bit depressed but there is hope at the end of the tunnel. When she took her plea it was an alfred plea (like Martha's) and she had a year to have the case reopened. They now have Adam, the guy she was with, in jail at CCDC *see post below*. So they have no reason to keep her and are going to relook at her case given that she was abused and molested while in Pioche prison.
anyway here is a pic of my pal Tiffany *yes i cut out her EX husband which is where he out to be since he brought her here to vegas, became a crackhead and left her alone here with a 2 yr old child*..
Her address is in the post below..drop her a line and tell her Doc sent you. |
| » Live from SNWCC & CCDC |
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Seems i just can't bring myself to write this anymore and have really put it away and tried to move on but i'm still pals with a couple of my friends from jail and actually i'm the go between between them as they cannot write to each other directly.
So i'm going to, with their permission start posting their letters to each other, on here so at least Tiffany can read it almost instantly. Yes in Prison there is Net access..limited but access.
Tiffany's story: She was a very nice married woman in Austin Texas when her husband decided that they would all move to NV to be near his family who were/are quite wealthy. They have a son, Jon Jr. and moved here to Vegas in around 1994. Jon Sr., after a few months of bumming around got a job in construction and was constantly gone. Tiffany, a registered nurse, went to work for his father, a Dr. here in vegas (now deceased). Both of them entered the burgeoning drug scene here in Vegas and eventually Jon Sr. had a bad crack habit while Tiffany developed an addiction to pain killers. Eventually his family had an 'intervention' and he was sent to rehab. Tiffany continued to work as a nurse and raise their son. When Sr. came out of rehab, decided he didn't want to be married to her anymore and started divorce proceedings. He sued for custody and was granted with the families' high powered attorney behind him. He moved back to Austin, leaving Tiffany here with no family, no house and her job. She still continued to work for his father but he soon retired and she moved on to another practice. He died shortly after retirement and left her some property in Pahrump which eventually i'm planning to turn into "Uncle Kirk's Plumper Palace" for house arrest hoes. but i digress.
When Tiffany was 28 she met Adam who was 19 at the time and they immediately clicked. He was a Brit living here in Vegas as a tatoo artist and musician. Adam was also on probation for distribution of a controlled substance. Anyway.. they hooked up and after about a year, he violated his parole by going to visit his mother in Idaho without his PO's permission and was sent to prison for 2 years. Tiffany had kicked her dependency on Lor-Tabs and was moving on up the nursing chain to head charge nurse. She met and started dating a guy who's name i don't know but is always referred to as "the shit head". 1/2 Hawaiian and 1/2 Jamaican (i think this is why tiff and i get along so well), she was introduced to the upscale world of High End Stip Clubs like Sapphires and Jaguars as well as parties at the Bellagio and the Palms. All the while staying in communication with Adam. However he was very controlling and wanted her to quit her job and work with him. Having been down that road with Jon Sr. and having filed new papers to get Jon Jr. back, she refused and they broke up.
Last January (2004) Adam got out of Indian Springs and returned to Vegas. He hooked back up with Tiffany and she let him move in with her after a couple of weeks. i'm not sure if was that young strong hard dick or just that she was so comfortable with him but whatever the reason they were reunited. He got permission to go visit his mother in Boise for 3 weeks and tiffany took off from work to go with him. He rented a u-haul truck to move some of his mother's stuff up for her out of the storage unit it'd been in since she'd moved from Vegas about 6 years before while he was still in high school.
Tiffany worked that morning and he picked her up at work with the truck loaded. They got as far as Pioche before stopping for the night.. of course if this was Boobsie or I we'd of run on through till we got to our destination but hey that's just us.
The next day as they were leaving the motel, Adam backed into a parked car and the police came. He had his travel papers and his license but they made him open the back of the truck anyway and they found the ingredents for a mobile meth lab. They also found a gun registered to his mother underneath Tiffany's seat.
Even tho Adam swore that Tiffany knew nothing about it, they arrested both of them but released Adam about 2 weeks later because he had kidney stones and had to go to the hospital in Las Vegas. Well he jumped bail and they held on to Tiff since they didn't have Adam.
When she arrived at Clark County Detention where I met her, she looked like she'd been in a saturday night fight. She had both eyes blackened. bruises everywhere and big chunks of her hair were pulled out. She was there awaiting transfer to Southern Nevada Women's Correctional Facility at Smiley road in here in LV. Since she'd been incarcerated since March 26th, and it was now May 28th or so, how did she get beaten up? Well it seems that she's been denied due process. She was held in Pioche with no access to mail, to a phone except at 2am in the morning so she couldn't call her attorney. Her mail was opened and read and letters she sent out were destroyed. Since very few women were long term in Pioche, she was given her own private cell with a window into the guard's office. This means she had ZERO privacy. Her court appointed attorney told her to take an "alfred" plea which just means that she is pleaing to move her case forward.. rather than delay. the day they were to transport her to Las Vegas on her way to smiley road, she woke up to find the night guard who awakened her daily by tickling her, on top of her with his exposed dick between her thighs. When she started to scream, he punched her and pulled her hair until there was so much noise, that another officer came and pulled him off of her.
When she was picked up to be transported, the 2 officers from Las Vegas questioned her at length. and took pictures of everythign. She is now serving 4-10 in SNWCC but is hoping to have her case expunged now that Adam has turned himself in and is pleading guilty to the same charges. The guard who jumped her has been fired, the county sheriff her harrassed her nightly has resigned.
If you like to drop Tiffany a line here is her current address:
Tiffany Wells
SNWCC
#82146
4370 Smiley Road
Las Vegas, NV 89115
Cards are nice, Letters are nice and i'm sure she'd be happy to hear from anyone.
Mar. 4th, 2005 @ 06:34 pm
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| » It's now almost 4 months |
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Since i was released. I've been working since August but now have started a new direction. The 'gag' order expired on the 3rd of Nov, so i intend to now take my entire story to the press.
but instead of bolting this country like i first wanted to, i intend to stay, fight on, and make those negative narrow minded people realize KARMA IS A BITCH...
Nov. 6th, 2004 @ 06:27 pm
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| » May 22nd. LOCKED DOWN!!! WTF |
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So this morning i'm happily sleeping away..and somewhere in my dreamstate i hear: This facility is locked down until further notice.
Lockdown! no free time, no cards, no talking, no potty breaks on demand, we cannot leave our bunk area *about 8'x4'* and we are having to sit in virtual silence.
Why? because today is a training day.. so they are afraid if there is an "issue" hordes of peeps won't be able to come rushing in and slam that person to the floor..as IF they have somewhere to go.. *rolling eyes*.
So here we fucking sit.. and i finished my 2nd book this morning after breakfast so i don't even have anything to read. Asia (4k53) is moaning about her man not visiting her last night and she has no $$ on her books, she's hungry, she doesn't even have paper. BJ (4k45) our pinky cutie who i hope becomes a cam ho (i gave her julie's email addy) is incessently yakking about her out date.. and is she or isn't she. even tho we aren't supposed to run our fucking mouths she is gonna get us all in a 24 hr lock down if she doesn't shut the fuck up. and the HUMMER is making me nuts.. i want to slap her ass silly (see some other entry on the hummer). Thank goddess she goes to court on tuesday maybe her ass will be out of here.
We got a new cellie at the end of the row, Carmen, who looks like an earth goddess. She is pals with Alisha (4k52) who is going to prison in a few weeks for drugs. Alisha has no one to help her on the outside, totally alone, has found god while in here and is very quiet, keeps to herself and doesn't get into that "sistah" crap. she's the one i give my cake too and she gives me her fruit. she's pregnant.. so she'll gain a few pounds off the cake and i'll prevent scurvy on this all carb diet. Anyway Carmen is a diabetic.. and can't order any food off the list, so she had money sent to alisha..and BAM..alisha got all this candy etc for her.. and got to order herself some stuff as well. Carmen has been here 2 days and is already in a 24hr lockdown for playing cards during our nightly lockdown. I really fail to see why it is necessary for everyone to be totally silent.
Its time for lunch.. and i need to sneak my books back and grab a new one on the way back from lunch. Probably fried bologna and tasteless potato salad ..
caio.. chow.. for now
Sep. 29th, 2004 @ 08:40 am
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| » May 21st |
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Well today was an odd day. I think that any little diviation from the rote routine is notable just because its not the same.
We have a new cellie in bed 55 named Lisa (i could just throw up saying that name because of the fucking furby). Are all of them 1/2 cracked?? I mean Lisa Simpson seems to be all there, most of the time.
Khat (4k46) and I have dubbed her the "hummer" as she hums all night long while sleeping. Apparently this is a trait of extended drug usage. She, the hummer, also knows one of the Greedy 6, who occupy the 1st 1/2 of our row, so she constantly yells "Kim" "Kim" to her best pal. Even during lockdown where we are supposed to be on our bunks and talking silently, if at all, she still manages to yell.."kim" Kim.. she also snores and hums and hums and snores.
So today we have 2 new trainees along with a babysitter who is the jail house equivilent of SWAT. She has popeye-arms. I swear i keep waiting for a can of spinich to come out and for her to chase one of these fem-biatches up and down the aisle calling her "olive". Anyway the 2 newbies were just out of school and were exactly by the book. So they did bunk inspections. Now the rule is, anything that is not in its original form, is contraband. Depending on the severity of the contraband, you can get a 24-hr lockdown etc or if it is really bad you go to *insert drumroll here, julie*, THE HOLE!! So for example the container that the cheese comes in is a small plastic holder which i put coffee and hot chocolate in (to extend my coffee). I have found that i can, at dinner, come back to my bunk with a 1/2 cup of milk, make me a "pot" of coffee during our 4-7pm break and be ready to play cards from 7-11pm. Of course this is why i'm usually up writing at 2am as well.
But my little container is contraband since it no longer holds cheese. I also have my bracelet from the RJC where my picture, i must say, was Fabu!! In my very past life japaneese fashion i've decided to compartmentalize my real feelings, lock them away, as i certainly do not want to become morose while i'm here. After all, the very most it could last is 12 months IF they reimpose my sentence, IF they give me zero credit for time served and IF i have to have a public defender which i'm hoping i don't.
Wait.. i digressed didn't i???? Shit!! Locked up not even a month and there goes my goodhead!!
Anyway..so down aisle one goes the 2 newbies, shaking down the bunks. We are on row 4. so now i have to determine whether it is necessary for me to put my little container in pants (remember i wear no bra) or should i just risk it? FiFi (4k61) says to put it in my crackerbox. actually i could do that and the very worst that could happen is they find it, throw it away and i get a 24. ok i'm here 2 weeks and haven't had one yet, so i guess its worth it. Otherwise i have to try to mix it all in my water bottle (also a NO NO, but hell a woman has to have a pot to brew in).
So i put it in my cracker box, stuck a 1/3 pack of crackers on top of it.. so if they just "look" they won't see it, and stuck it back into my cabinet. Oh we have no locks on our cabinets so i use a pencil to keep it closed.
They finally reach our aisle, are going along with inspections. they get to me, i have to step out.. you know my heart is pounding cuz i've got a "secret". i see their plastic bag is filled with coke bottles with Kool-aid in them, plastic cheese and grease containers, homemade calandars, homemade artwork (butterflys with plastic feelers), mini garbage cans made from weekly commissary bootay, plastic pen holders with pencils stuck in the top, home made (read prison) photo frames etc. So they open my cabinet..i figure i'm done for. start pulling out my spare towels, sox etc.. just as she gets to my very neatly stacked food, Theresa (4K31) starts an asthma attack and they have to call a Code for her. ha ha ha.. saved by the cougher.
Oh well at least it offered a divesion from the same old boring bullshit that takes place, tho watching a druggy throw their guts up isn't a picture i'd like to store in my memory bank.
If you are reading this at some later date, do what Carroll O'connor says, Do whatever it takes to keep your children, your spouse, your friends off drugs. It is an UGLY UGLY ugly sight!!
Sep. 27th, 2004 @ 02:25 am
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| » Side Note: |
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Some of the journal entries are locked due to content. If you want to be able to read them, you must get a live journal addy and then request to be added to my friends list. As my 'stretch' gets longer the post get very graphic and quite frankly a bit offensive. When one of those comes along its locked to friends and family. Especially the few involving the very mistaken chick who wanted to make me her bitch!!
Hit me on dividedsouls@yahoo.com and i'll authorize you to be added to my friends list here.
Peace Love Joy and Happiness..i'm so happy to be able to be able to celebrate Autumn Equinox.
dhg
Sep. 21st, 2004 @ 11:30 pm
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| » Now that i'm semi settled |
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I'll start posting again. Last night i watched a show on MSNBC called Lockdown about 2 prisons, 1 in Cali and 1 in ILL. While i was in "jail" not prison, i was really amazed that by watching this i could feel the fear in my stomach and relieved some of the more 'dramatic' moments while a guest of CCDC.
So i feel that by posting again, it will be cathartic and perhaps i can "move" on from this life experience.
Peace
1196116 cuz i'm only a number to them.
Sep. 19th, 2004 @ 04:53 pm
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| » Side note: |
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I'm taking a short break from posting as i was reading some of the entries to come and really got me a bit on the down side. I intend to publish them all but need to take a break because each time i post, i re-live this nightmare.
Aug. 17th, 2004 @ 02:18 pm
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| » May 19, 2004. |
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Spud and Clifton came to see me today. And i got MAIL. From Julie in Seattle. All seems to be well on that side. She is waiting for Spud/Clifton to send my keys to her so they can get my car from the Freak of Nature aka the furby.
Spud seemed ok today but was on his way to Lee's for the rest of the week. His Da doesn't like to have him while he's not off from work. I hope he's surviving at Lee's house.
I nearly fell out of my bed when Officer P dropped mail off to me last night. Who can sleep with her Blaring the TV, running the Vacuum and giggling at various officers who stop by. I'm on row 4 almost to the back and farther away than anyone and i can hear her. It's right now about 1am so i guess i should put this as May 19th.
I spoke with my attorney yesterday who is not a criminal attorney and would suggest someone to me. So i call his suggestion and the guy tells me 1500.00 for the case. Not bad. I tell him call my son, he has control of my money. He calls david and tells him 3000.00 and that i'm looking at prison if they can get me revoked. i said i'll take a public defender instead. so i did the paperwork for that. I still have no court date but apparently the NRS states that there is a 45 day wait. If this is the case i'm contacting the ACLU as this was the same as California, 45-60 day wait before a court date and the ACLU had it overturned. I also wrote the Mayor here since he was at one time my uncle attorney so maybe it will help. My fucking cousin is in Italy since April and isn't due back until Memorial day.
I had kited when i first arrived for some books on Paganism, tarot, moon etc. I received my answer today that those materials are unavailable. I guess if i was muslim, christian or morman (as it) i'd be rolling in them but no native american beliefs are recognized. Just throw us in jail and let the great spirit find us later.
Marie is still blathering on about how she's going to be released before her girls graduate. No chance in Hell. Kat, my hooker pal, is a godsend, tho she's been on Lockdown for 72 hrs from Officer P. Her crime?? During Lockdown she passed a book to a girl on the other side of her wall. at 5am, Officer P woke her up and moved her to row 2. 5am in the morning. Then i think yesterday Kat went to court and found out she's going to prison in July. What is fucked up is that she has to wait here until they are able to get her into intake at the prison but this time doesn't count against her sentence. She could be here for a month on what is called Dead time. It is MY opinion that anytime you spend behind bars should be counted, no matter where. It makes ZERO sense. I really think that all D.O.C. personnell should be required to either have a close relative spend a few days in jail or they themselves should. It would change the point of view tremendously.
What i fail to understand is the societal stigma. Ok so i wouldn't want to subject my family to violent or sexual preditors, BUT, if the truth be known in the darkest secret of ones life, we ALL have done something that probably would either be considered criminal behavior OR at the very least would lead to it. It is a "learned" behavior. I do not think it is in our DNA, therefore it is rehabilitative. Where the 'system' fails is upon release. It is very difficult to overcome a "felony" and try to explain the state of mind when it occured XXX amount of years before. In MY personal case, IF i get to explain, most of the time i'm able to articulate my thought process, my regret etc. However, when you have girls such as Asia, who don't have a clue on how to get on in life, there needs to be some kind of safety net. I know several of the casinos apparently hire Felons as part of a tax incentive but Corporate american needs to re-evaluate as well. Especially once the job boom starts again when we Boot Bush.
Geeze i'm in fucking jail and i cannot shut up about the very least of my worries.
Aug. 14th, 2004 @ 02:04 pm
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| » May 18, 2004 |
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Time, Thyme, and Tyme, no matter how it is spelled it goes slowly here in jail. The "regs" who are going to prison talk about how they cannot wait to get there because it's so much 'freer' than CCDC.
If i didn't say it before, the girls here call CCDC as "Can't complete drug court". it seems the most wanted "pee" is from drug free boys 15 and under. Up to 40.00 a jar is paid for 'clean' pee from them. I guess spud could get a cottage business going here if we stay in NV. apparently the trick is to take it along, microwave it just before court at the 7-11 somewhere near the court and tape it just above your pubic line along with a pin to prick it open with since the administrator sits in the room with you, or stands behind you if you are a guy. Guys tape a tube under their dicks that runs from the baggy down.
I swear i'm a much better criminal NOW than i was 3 weeks ago. and i have to say, that I much prefer WORK as my drug of choice rather than some of the ones i've seen here or rather the effects they have on some of these women.
We have a group of dumpster divers. These are girls that before you even sit at your table, are begging your food. I have a deal with my daily cake, where i trade it with Alisha who is PG and gets fruit 2 times a day. We get Oatmeal 3 days a week, i guess the goddess is punishing me early as i don't eat oatmeal. and 3 days a week we get cold cereal, fruit loops wanna bee. 1 day a week we get something interesting. Every other Tuesday (after the prison run) we get Biscuits and gravy. I traded mine this week for 2 bags of chips and candy bar. Not a bad trade. Today some chick got locked down because she got up from her table and went to another table to get another tray. What i fail to understand and probably never will, is that today we have about 50 beds in here but we get 64 trays. Some of the CO's "auction" off the trays, like playing trivia or they give them away for the neatest beds etc. Mostly officer Smith and Ling-Ling but the rest THROW THEM AWAY. There are girls who are begging for food here, and literally starving because they have no money on their books. Would it REALLY hurt them to have an extra tray??? WTF.. it's not like they are going to use them over again.
Bordom has set in. I've given several girls kate's email and hopefully when they get out they'll contact her to sign up as cam hoes.. but who knows. I found out today they offer GED Classes and those girls on flat time can get out early if they complete their GED. So now i've Kited for a GED study guide so i can tutor them for Chips etc.
I have 2 new cellies on either side of me. One is Letty who has been sleeping for 2 days. The other is Asia who is a Chunky Asian chick *size 24* who got picked up for meth and has an old warrant for tresspassing which is really hooking. LMAO. She is only 20 yrs old but has a felony already. She has a really nice man who comes to see her 3 times a week, puts money on her books. She dropped out of school in 9th grade and is my 1st student. I got 3 soups from her for teaching her the capitals of the US. She didn't even know there was a Civil War. OH man.. and YES she was born in the USA.. in Hawaii but grew up in Whittier CA. She said the only jobs she could get were making like 6.50 per hour max. I told her, no office would want to hire her since both her hands and arms are covered in jail house tats. So i'm trying to give her some "motherly" direction. I had her write her mom a letter and explain to her all her teenaged angst. Instead of letting it sit and fester. Today her mom came to see her, 1st time in 2 yrs and apologized for allowing her daughter to be abused by her step-father and her moms is going to try to bail her out. I guess somewhere buried deep within me is still "DOC" cuz i can't seem to hide from that even here.
We had boiled bologna, potato salad, white bread, and cake for dinner. I'll never eat another sandwich again in my life.
Aug. 13th, 2004 @ 02:43 pm
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| » May 17, 2004 |
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Ok Call me offically FREAKED the fuck out. 2 major things happened and i don't know which one is freaking me out more.
I had a review today. Was i informed?? Fuck no. I don't even know what a review is, but apparently a group of people 'discuss' whether or not they have sufficient evidence that i absconded to revoke me. Since i NEVER absconded I'm surprised they are proceeding but the scariest part was NO one even asked me anything. Not P&P, Not my attorney (which i've written the Mayor a letter and asked for his help since he was my uncle matty's attorney for years). What happened to due process? Do i not have a chance to face my acusser in this case is P&P??? I swear everyone here claims they are innocent but uh, HELLO.. IF i'd absonded as they claim, why did i live, work, go to school, travel freely and openly in my own name for the last 7 yrs?? PLEASE.. i'm truly frightened that i'm going to be sleeping one monday night and someone is going to come to my bed and say i'm on the bus to prison.
Even more frightening is what happened to some skanky chick here today. She came in yesterday, reaking of a stench that smells like she hasn't had a bath in 3 or more weeks. Now having been in holding for 14 hours, i can understand her sleeping habits but today she didn't get up for lunch, even tho everyone tried to wake her up. She was telling girls trying to wake her (not me) to leave her alone. so we are all sitting at lunch, yakking away..when 6 big huge beefy officers swoop down and surround her bed, one Tasers her and says.. that'll wake her up. WTF. The woman is a drug addict.. she is coming down from her high.. she's been in holding at least 12 hrs with no sleep but probably 24 or more since it was the weekend. and they TASER her??? it's not like she's a big woman. she's a drug addict and weighs maybe fucking 110lbs. and it took 6 big beefy CO to wake her up and restrain her.. they literally drug her out of the pod. the CO who tasered her was laughing.. said she looked like a fish on a pole.
I hope i never ever feel the need to sleep in.
I'm so freaked out right now, i'm pulling the cover over my head and trying to remember what life is like outside of this 4x6 cube.
Aug. 12th, 2004 @ 12:04 pm
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| » May 16, 2004 |
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Ok so i didn't write yesterday as we were locked down all day and i'd loaded my pad to Marie so she could write a letter to one of her many "men" on the outside and couldn't retrieve it until today.
so there is really NOTHING exciting going on here today. No Visits for me, no mail, and while i know in my goodhead that everything is ok on the outside, i'm feeling very lost and alone.
Yesterday was also "ling-ling" exchange so now i actually have clothing that FITS and isn't falling off my ass (i know if i ever get this published, there are those who read it that will laff).
We call it Ling-Ling cuz Officer Temple cannot say Linen..but calls it Ling Ling. We change all our clothing, towels, sheets everything but our miserable blanket, out for a complete new set. we get to sit in our 1 size fits all (tosses goodhead, HA)night shirts but i only use mine for keeping my neck warm. Then we march row by row and get our new sets. If you are on the In crowd, you get good clothing. I guess i'm IN cuz i got good shirts and pants that actually fit. and my towels don't have rips.
Today we had "amateur" night.. which consisted of girls reading their poetry or singing. There is a crack head here named Lisa (how funny) who thinks she's whitney houston. Has a "wife" who is in federal prison for interstate something or other. I'm such a bitch i turn it off. Anyway she always wants to "sing". Then there is terry who is going back to prison for the 3rd time (called a small bitch for a 3 time habitual criminal on the same charges). She has 2 kids, a bitch in prison and a husband on the outside. She reads and writes poetry. Then there are those who feel the necessity of telling "their" stories. I mean we all have things that we've done that aren't pretty but i fail to see the necessity of telling them.
My row is made up of 16 girls.. the 1st 8 beds are older black women and 2 "mobile" beds that are occupied for a day or 2 then vacated either from bail or their case runs out. but the 6 who are here for probation violation and some are here for violation of house arrest are very aggressive. They are always grubbing. To the point where i walk around the entire pod so i don't have to walk down that aisle. It's not that i don't want to share, but my $$ are limited and i only buy what can get me through to the next order date. I never have leftovers and it's not as if there is a trade off. What i find so frustrating is that when i say NO i don't have any, they strain their necks and look in my locker to see what i do have when i open it. Then they talk bad. I treated myself to a small container of cheese at 2.25. and was making some cheese and cracker when one of them walked over and said.. oh cheese and crackers, my favorite can i have a few??? fuck.. i said.. 1.. i can spare one. and then i felt bad. but shit i give away almost all my tray..not because i don't want it, but because i'm grazer.. not an eater.. so i'm not used to having to wolf down my food in 10 minutes or less. it makes me sick.
I'm very disheartened and feeling miserable right now.so i think i'll just sleep.
Aug. 11th, 2004 @ 12:40 pm
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| » May 14th |
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Officer Temple is very nice. She passes out our mail (not that i've received any) early (officer P passes it out in the middle of the night and if you aren't asleep you don't get your mail, so everyone pretends), lets us make coffee in our water bottles (much better for mixing) and i have to say the "coffee" that we get for 3.75 a package is NOT instant coffee, but the kind where you have those huge pots for banquets and have a packet that makes like 20-25 cups that pours in to brew. I've learned in the 5 days i've been here to 'sneak' my milk from breakfast back in my pants so i can have milk in my coffee. 10 packs of sugar are 65 cents and we get sugar with breakfast 2 times a week. Since i don't eat oatmeal, i save mine. Anyway, and officer temple is pretty easy going but she has a crush on a Nurse here, Nurse Robert who is also Korean (officer temple is Korean) so when he is here she makes us all lock down while 1/2 the place gets Meds. Gawd knows what i'd do for a Vikoden right now to just sleep my cares away.
It's friday, pizza and family night at home and i'm sooo missing it with my spuddy. I had a good silent cry earlier today, thinking of him with his da & Sheila who i have no clue who she is, but from what both Spud and DA have told me, i'm not sure i like the thought of her being an influence on spud's life. This is the woman who pee'd in the fridge cuz she was too drunk to make it to the bathroom.
My little possee is keeping me occupied except when Marie starts with her repetitive bullshit i just roll my eyes.
There is a girl who hangs on the fringes of our 'crewe' named Theresa (pronounced There-sa...i shit you not)who only comes over when we have a community tamale (each contributes either chips or soup) and sticks her fork in the bowl. she gets a welfare package each week that consists of toothpaste, a tiny bottle of shampoo and 1 envelope, 3 sheets of paper. She uses her envelope, NOT to find a place that would take her on house arrest, but to find a "man" in CCDC. Why would anyone want a man who cannot put money on her books or work for her on the outside is beyond me..and HE is going to prison for 12-24 months. The mentality is beyond me. she has till august 1st and is very content here. She gets tons of attention from the CO's cuz in 6 days i've been here they've had to call a Code 99 on her (code 99 is medical) 2 times. There is a pattern here but i'm not sure it's emerged yet. Stand by i'll keep you posted.
I'm writing after lockdown for the night. Where i sleep is fucking freezing. I'm at a cross between 2 vents and this tacky assed blanket with holes. so i get in bed, put my sheet over my blanket, put my change of clothing (blue pants/shirt) over that and tuck my towels around my feet to stay warm. i put my night gown across my chest and over my head. Pathetic. If EVER i could choose a time to get hot flashes, this would be it.
I'm in the process of reading book #63, some drival about 17th century heaving bosom romance. the library is supposed to change books every friday but OOPS they forgot this week.
I wrote Ernie at REI and asked him to ship me some books from Amazon, but who knows if he'll get a chance.
Ok back to drival..i hope spuddy is having a happy friday night.
Aug. 9th, 2004 @ 11:18 am
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| » May 13, 2004-Disorganization to the nth degree |
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Today we have new officers to babysit us. I need a score card. Since I arrived late on the 8th in my "pod" 4k, I had only Officer Temple for 1 night, which i slept thru. After that we had Officer Nicholas during the day. She is the poster child for Barbie. I swear. and Officer Preito, or Officer P who suffers from a very complex Napoleon/short woman syndrome.
Today we have Officer Smith. She is very laid back, which i think is what day shift is all about. and Tonight we have officer Temple.
some of our rules are:
Phone: Face the wall. Only touch the black part of the phone. No slumping or slouching or touching the wall to lean.
Water bottles must only contain water for 1 of the day shift officers and 1 of the night shift ones.. the rest of them allow us to mix Kool-aid/coffee in them but the 2 who don't give us lock down because of it.
Razor pass: No one gets off their bunk during razor pass if you do it's 24 hr lock down. My cross bunkie Khat in bunk 46 was getting a visit and stopped to brush her teeth on the way to the visit which resulted in a 24 for her.
here are how the shifts work:
Sun-Wed, AM: Officer Barbie er Nicholas
Sun-Wed, PM: Officer P..
Thu-Sat, AM: Officer Smith
Thu-Sat, PM: Officer Temple
Smith and P are the 2 who we cannot use something other than water in our water bottle. so if we forget we are fucked.
There is no consistancy between the officers. Each has their own crap that makes them crazy. Officer Nicholas spends her entire shift on the phone. i swear she is having phone sex. Officer P on the other hand, with her blond ponytail on the top of her head makes her look like the bride of frankenstein, loves to scream at us and was def. once a Sandanista with her music all night. She probably has a Black man for a lover and is 1/2 way out of the closet, is definently a masochist by day.
Its too early to tell for the 2 who came in today. They both seem nice but Smith did bunk inspection and i found out i cannot hang my wet towel at the foot of my bed only the head. But Officer Temple said we could hang at the end of the bed. Officer temple also lets us get up in our night gowns, but officer smith does not.
They are very disorganized. I swear i need to take over the administration of CCDC.
Aug. 8th, 2004 @ 01:36 pm
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| » May 12, 2004-the Marie Saga |
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Spud and Da came to visit today. It was kind of strange seeing them. Spud was really clinging to his da and not really wanting to talk with me. Even tho we are both used to webcaming, it was different. Clifton was looking pretty 'hassled' by being there but did put 20.00 on my books so i can order again tonight.
I've met a girl here named Marie. I'm not sure what her final story will be but she has several children and from what she says, is wrongfully in here (aren't we all). She's very repetitive and is totally asorbed with her case. She 'kites' the court, sends motion after motion to the court.
Apparently her son and a guest in her house got into a fight. The guest slapped her son and both of them got hauled off to jail/juvvy. She was also arrested. The charges against her son were dropped (he was 15 at the time) but they kept them against the 2 adults. She had to do 12 parenting classes and anger management. Each set of classes is 750.00. She has 2 older twin daughters that are bi-polar and several other learning problems but are graduating with honors from their repective high schools. This is the ongoing saga of her daily existance. Her out date is august 1.
We (my possee) play cards daily to pass the time, and always she brings the subject of her latest motion/etc. and repeats to us why she should be released, etc. I made the mistake of telling her, i'd help her write the governor to just ask for an early release to see her daughters graduate. Without hesitation she jumped up and grabbed a pen and that's now what she is pinning her hopes on. there is such a SLIM to none change but who knows..if you don't try, NOTHING will happen.
She has about 6 men who write her and keep money on her books, not much but at least something. She's very nice but i really am now so far OVER the repetitiveness of it, i'm really ready to scream at her "shut the FUCK up" and she wants me to move my bunk over by her. Of course I said.. NO you should move by me..since i'm old.
My Next door cellie has been sent to the hole and i have a new one. A bank robber. She is a caregiver for her mother and gets paid by the state. Last Friday, her paycheck didn't arrive so she robbed a bank for 5K with a Flair pen. She spent all but 1500 by the time she was arrested. She said she was Mad and wanted some money.. the bank was there so she robbed it.
Amazing. She's an older woman, in her late 30's early 40's. No doubt she'll be out before me.
My cellie on the otherside went to house-arrest today. Good thing cuz she was ragging on me all the time for changing my shirt in my bunk area. WTF.. i'm an OLD nudist and don't really care IF the guards see my sagging tits or not. Why should she?? it takes like 1/2 a minute to slide it off my head and put my night shirt on. Thank gawd she's gone.
Each row has 16 people on it. We are only allowed on our Row..otherwise it's to the Hole we go. I'm such a fucking poet. Our row is probably the oldest avg. age. the 1st 10 bunks are all black chicks, mostly here for drugs. They do hair for a candy bar or bag of ramen. it's like running the gauntlet at night.
Got anything sweet.
I'm so hungry
You have crackers, give me some.
WTF..i'm all for sharing but i don't need cornrows in my hair and it's tremendously annoying.
Well it's 1030pm and almost lights out, which is STUPID cuz Officer P NEVER fucking puts the lights out.. and at midnight will turn the TV up and at 3am will run the vacuum.. thank god today is her last shift day. BITCH.
Aug. 7th, 2004 @ 01:08 pm
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| » May 11, 2004 |
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Did i mention when they brought me to CCDC (which i was told stands for Can't Complete Drug Court) i lost 17lbs?? Well i'm sure they will have to roll me out of here when i leave. Today we had for lunch, a piece of fried beef bologna, something that was supposed to be potatoes and that gawd awful cake again. I found a girl on my row that is PG, so she gets a 'special' meal, which instead of cake (that she'd prefer) she gets fruit cocktail. So i made a deal to trade her. At least i won't get scurvy.
I'm still not used to be here, and goddess help me i hope never to be. Yesterday in bunk 55 next to mine and 1 away from my ex-hooker turned Meth-head pal Kat, they brought in one of the mouthy girls from holding that got in a fight. Her name is Lisa and she is short and feisty. We have daily from about 5p-7pm, lockdown where we can't get off our bunks. I really always read, or write in my journal like now. It's not like she's never been here, but has spent quite a lot of time, it seems in CCDC. Still she has chosen to mouth off at the CO, also suffering from short woman syndrome, Officer Prieto, or Officer P, since 3/4 of these chicks cannot talk. So officer P, handcuffed her and she was again outta here.. to the dreaded hole, which is 5 days of lockdown in a private cell. meals thru the door, 1 hour out per day. Naked and shackled.
The schedule here is quite different that in Seattle.
3am-wake up ..breakfast by 330a-4am.
Lockdown till 7am.
7am-10am-free time (tv, shower, basically we can get up from our cell)
10am-lunch.
11am-325pm-free time
325pm-facing the blue which means we have to give our Name/id and bunk number, in order. If you miss your 'spot' in line or out of order, you are automatically lockedown for 24. 2nd time you go to the hole. you are only allowed 5 lockdowns in 90 days.. my intention is to get NONE.
4pm-dinner.
7pm-free time.
11pm-Lockdown for the night
12M-lights out.
except this CO, Officer P thinks because SHE has to be up, WE all have to be up. so at midnight she turns UP the TV, at 2am, she vacuums her area and keeps the lights on in the TV/Day area ALL night. She has company that she "chats" with and while i'm all the way over on the other side of the room, 3 rows of 16 girls away, she does keep me up as well.
Our bunk is metal, with a thin mattress pad on it, and Khat (in 46) got me a pillow. I have to say, my "cellies" are looking after me. Lori from NY, across from me, gave me a coffee ball and a "tamale" which is ramen with crushed cheetos/doritos in it. Not bad.. well i'd never put it on the bellagio menu, but it's passible.
My back hurts all the time, but it's 13.00 to see the DR and i just think crackers at 11pm, are more important at this moment.
We have kind of a "clique" that has formed, so it's not bad..but goddess help me some of these girls are REALLY beyond stupid. I guess that's why WE are all here.
Aug. 5th, 2004 @ 02:39 pm
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